Look, I know your mommy tells you everyday how fucking adorable you are and how every one of your poops is a goddamn miracle, but Jesus Christ, really? Making out with your own reflection? Even Paris Hilton has enough self control to not swamp every mirrored surface she passes with her own saliva. God, haven't you read Through the Looking Glass? Do you think you're pampered ass could stand up to the Red Queen? I didn't think so. So knock it the hell off. I'm getting sick and tired of running around the house with a bottle of Windex wiping up your little snot trails.