Thursday, February 12, 2009

Your spikey hair doesn't fool me, baby

It's just not fair, baby. I was watching you on television being a baby WHEN I WAS BABY. I identified with you: I had a binky, you had a binky. And you were so brightly colored. But then, something changed. While I grew buck teeth and had an awkward Marilyn Manson/Nine Inch Nails phase, you were sitting pretty, making your millions on the longest-running American television show. While I am paying my BILLS at a thankless job, you are spelling out E=MC² with your baby blocks, and escaping from the Springfield daycare center. Sounds fun! Say hi to Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa for me okay. BECAUSE I'M LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD. I hate you, baby.


  1. Unaging (definitely a real word) babies are the worst.

  2. Hi -- I'm a reporter with the Wall Street Journal, and I was curious about your site and hoped to talk with you about it. I'm at 212.416.4442 or I can explain the story in greater detail if you're interested. Thanks, Ellen Gamerman, The Wall Street Journal, New York.