Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Babies don't understand much, especially not BBQs

Well, this barbecue is a monumental failure because of you, baby. The invitation read "Bring your own meat for the grill." And then you show up crying about how meat is murder and you can't abide by my carnivorous ways and how you're going to strap yourself to the grill in protest (which, I was down for, actually). Then this asshole shows up with tofurkey cutlets and portobello mushrooms like a goddamn hippie and Jared just...completely misinterprets the whole scenario. Well, next time I decide to have a barbecue, I know EXACTLY what will be on the menu.